“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but so is Vulgarity.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but so is vulgarity.”

 

I came across this phrase recently on a friend’s profile. As catchy as this phrase was, the article under it was also completely appealing. The whole writing was proving the point that people in west do not stare at girls because their men have a certain mentality which encourages them to respect and honor the woman herself instead of looking medially at her attire, while most of the women who cover around the globe are still targeted by the men who stare. All in all, the author proved the point that it is not the women who need to dress up according to the demands of men, rather men need to be trained to control their oozing desires on whole.

Not a day was gone by and I read a completely opposite stance on one of the leading online Blogs. This time another author suggested that ‘dupatta’ (A form of scarf) was an integral part of Pakistani tradition and while the women might be losing it, those who are clinging on it are actually less prone to the stares of men around. She therefore concluded that women wearing it, are safer and deserve appreciation.
Both articles were based on personal opinions and while I genuinely respect everyone’s right to hold one, I do believe that once you speak publicly over something controversial, you have an obligation to present  a complete picture and not hide half of the facts just because you don´t believe in them. If you are writing just for the sake of writing, you have all the freedom to hold unto any of your ideologies. However if you are standing on a platform and intend to preach, you need to be well aware first.
I do not despise men, neither do I look down upon women who cover themselves up. But I certainly am against a whole lot of population who keeps fighting over an issue which is well addressed in our Religion. I am tired of people of both sides pointing their fingers at each other just because both of them believe in two different sides.

The truth is, those two sides are actually part of one whole solution.

If you are focusing on one part and ignoring the other, you are still going to face the problem because you did not took the pain of accepting the complete solution.
Men and women both make up a society equally as far as their role is concerned. While some societies are more male dominated, others have less percentage of this discrimination. Since both genders exist in one community, they need to socialize on regular basis. If you go through the verses of modesty in Quran, you would not see any discrimination. Allah has addressed both men and women by their respective roles. Men are advised to lower their eyes and thus control their gaze subjectively so as not to distract their selves. There is a reason why men are put on priority here. Every theory and every research has proved that men have considerably more and prolonged needs to cater. And in most of the cases you have heard or read around, men are to initiate a case of rape or harassment because they are capable of this. You would find very rare or no cases where women have done the same. But this story doesn’t end here and if you are stopping here then know, that you are not impartial in solving this issue.

Allah has further addressed the women to do the same. They are also required to control their desires because saying that men have more desires doesn’t nullify the fact that women too have some. ALSO, women are ordered to honor their chastity by adopting more modest clothing thus creating the concept of Hijab/Niqab. Let’s face it, we women, are beautiful and our existence brightens up the surroundings even if we are all covered. The concept of modesty and Hijab is not to restrict anyone, it is to ensure that any possibility of distraction among both genders must be eliminated so that all of us, men and women, can exist and socialize peacefully in a society.
Just because you do not control your gaze, does not mean it holds no significance and just because you don´t do Hijab, does not mean our religion paid no emphasis to it. You have your own faith and your own level of dedication towards it. If you choose not to practice Hijab, that’s your choice but it doesn’t require you to negate what Allah has already mentioned many years ago.

Apparently, I do Hijab but I struggle with my prayers every day. My Hijab won’t cover my sins. A mere piece of cloth on my head only defines one of the choices I have made in my life, nothing more.

Allah SWT has created a religion which is progressive and capable of modernization in all eras. You cannot contradict a clause of Quran just because the society today has different demands. Hold your choices as proudly as you can but make sure you respect others. You listen to others and you appreciate the difference of opinion because at the end of the day, there is always room for improvement.

 

There is always someone who knows more. Be open to it. You might learn something you always thought against.

“The man of knowledge is the one who recognizes that what is known is very little compared to what is not known, and as a result he considers himself ignorant, and accordingly he increases his efforts to know more by going out in search of knowledge.”
(Hazrat Ali R.A.)

 

 

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(Uzma Khan)